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A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, “What seems to be the problem“?
“I’m out of gas.” said the man.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away.
Minute later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
“Try it now” said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
“Wow!” the man exclaimed.
“What did you put in my gas tank?” the man asked.
To find out what was used, please scroll down
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A little bit more…
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What are you doing for mother’s day? Wait.. that is another topic all together.. Scroll down a bit 
I promise..
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Are your fingers tired? I am getting there… so don’t worry
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Tadaaaa!!
“BP.”
Got this in my email… Just for laughs Enjoy…
To All Employees,
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your supervisor.
You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
DIRECTOR UNDER THE MAIN BUREAU OF SUPER HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (The ‘D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.’)
An over weight guy decided to loose weight after his wife nagged him.. So off he went shopping at the fitness shop. He was lucky as the fitness shop is having their annual mega sale. Not to loose out on the sale, he bought a trade treadmill without his wife’s knowledge and put it up in the basement.
That afternoon, he was all pumped up to try his new machine… while his wife is out at her daily bingo sessions.. He was excited but at the same time anxious as he had never tried running on one before, let alone own one. Want to know what happen? Watch the video..
Side Note: May contain gross information… I hope you are not eating while reading this post… Don’t say I didn’t warn you!!
Few days ago, Boss Darling was in the toilet doing his big business while I was ironing his clothes outside the bedroom. (Our toilet connected to our bedroom). I smelled something sinister from the toilet and prompted me to shout out to Boss Darling…
SiwwyPig: Bee, after you have finished your business, do remember to spray…
Boss Darling: I always do… Why you got a problem with my shit is it?
SiwwyPig: I got no problem with your shit but the smell…
Boss Darling: What is wrong with the smell?
SiwwyPig: Have you smelt it lately?
Boss Darling: *sniff* *sniff* Okay… it is smelly… *laughs like a small kid*
To be honest, Boss Darling thinks it is funny and wants to me post this up in the blog for a laugh… *roll eyes*
6 weeks, 6 months and 6 years of marriage 
Love Expression:
6 weeks: I love U, I love U, I love U
6 months: Of course I love U
6 years: GOD, if I didn’t love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks: Honey, I’m home
6 months: BACK!!
6 years: What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks: Honey, I really hope you liked the ring
6 months: I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living Room
6 years: Here’s the money. Buy yourself something
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone
6 months: Here, for you
6 years: PHONE RINGING
Cooking:
6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years: AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks: Honey muffin, don’t you worry, I’ll never hold this against you
6 months: Watch out! Don’t do it again
6 years: What’s not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks: Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress
6 months: You bought a new dress again???
6 years: How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks: How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months: What’s so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years: Travel? What’s so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months: I like this movie
6 years: I’m going to watch ESPN, if you’re not in the mood, go to Bed, I can stay up by myself
Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. “Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?”
“Just stay in bed with me. He’s probably so drunk; he isn’t going to notice you here with me.” The fear of getting caught trying to escape was more powerful than the thought of getting caught in bed with Marge, so he trusted her advice. Sure enough, Marge’s husband came crawling into bed and as he pulled the covers over him, he pulled the blankets, exposing six feet.
“Honey!” he yelled. “What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!”
“Dear, you’re so drunk, you can’t count. If you don’t believe me, count them again.”
The husband got out of bed, and counted. “One, two, three, and four… By gosh, you’re right, dear!”
The Pigs and Cows who Oinked and Mooed